I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
