we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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