you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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