Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
