just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
