we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
