If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
