I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
