It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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