He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
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