I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
