you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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