She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
