No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
