Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
