he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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