just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
