i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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