no, he came in my armpit
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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