yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
