Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
