I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
