Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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