Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
