We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
