I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
