is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i came on her dog
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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