Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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