I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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