Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
