I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
