5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
