this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
