we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
