Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My pussy is not your playground.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Damn victory sex feels great
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
