i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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