We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
