so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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