belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
