do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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