Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
