Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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