My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
