Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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