Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
