Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize