Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
