And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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