I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
