OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
