Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
