so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
