Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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