Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
