Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
