Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
