Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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