Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
