so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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