Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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