I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
