oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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